A friendly guide

What is transgender? 🏳️‍⚧️

Plain language, no judgement, questions welcome.

🌈 The short version

A transgender (or trans) person is someone whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth.

A cisgender person is someone whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

🧠 Identity vs. body

Sex assigned at birth is the label a doctor gives a baby, usually based on their body.

Gender identity is a person's own inner sense of who they are: a woman, a man, both, neither, or something else.

✨ Beyond two boxes

Some trans people are women or men. Others are nonbinary, meaning their gender isn't only "woman" or "man". Every one of these identities is valid.

What does transitioning mean?

Transitioning is the process of living as who you really are. It looks different for everyone, and there's no single "right" way or finish line.

💬Social A new name, pronouns, clothes, hair or how you present to the world.
📄Legal Updating your name and gender marker on ID and documents.
🩺Medical Hormones and/or surgeries, guided by doctors. Some people want these, some don't.
💖Personal Self-acceptance, community and finding joy in being yourself.

Nobody "has to" do any particular step to be trans. Someone is trans because of who they are, not because of what they've done to transition.

Pronouns and respectful language

🏷️ Pronouns

Pronouns are how we refer to someone: she/her, he/him, they/them and others. If you're not sure, just ask politely, or use the person's name.

Slipped up? Correct yourself, say sorry once, and move on. No big speech needed.

🙅 Please don't

  • Use someone's old name (their "deadname").
  • Ask about their body, surgeries or medical history.
  • Ask what they "really" are, or for photos from before.
  • Out someone as trans without their permission.

Myths vs. facts

❌ Myth: "It's just a phase or a trend."

  • ✅ Trans people have existed throughout history and across cultures. Being trans is recognised by major medical and psychological organisations as a natural part of human diversity, not a disorder.

❌ Myth: "You have to have surgery to be trans."

  • ✅ Transition is personal. Many trans people never have surgery, and they are just as trans as anyone else.

❌ Myth: "Gender identity and sexuality are the same."

  • ✅ Gender identity is who you are. Sexual orientation is who you're attracted to. A trans person can be straight, gay, bi, ace or anything else.

❌ Myth: "Trans people are a danger to others."

  • ✅ Trans people just want to live their lives, use the bathroom and get home safe. In reality, trans people are far more likely to be the targets of harassment and violence.

How to be a good ally

👂Listen Believe trans people about their own lives and identities.
🏷️Respect Use the name and pronouns people ask you to use, even when they're not around.
📣Speak up Call out jokes or comments that put trans people down.
📚Learn Do some reading yourself instead of expecting trans friends to teach you everything.

From me 💗

I'm trans, and proud of it. Coming out and living as myself hasn't always been easy, but it's one of the best things I've ever done. If you're questioning, you don't need all the answers today. Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and know that you're not alone.

Support and resources

📍 Heads up: these resources are for Québec and Canada. I live in Montréal, so that's what I know best. Outside Canada? Jump to worldwide resources below.

📞 If you need to talk

  • 988: Canada's Suicide Crisis Helpline. Call or text, any time.
  • Trans Lifeline: a peer support hotline run by and for trans people.
  • Interligne: free, confidential support for LGBTQ+ people in Québec, in French and English.

🤝 Community

  • Aide aux trans du Québec (ATQ): support and resources for trans people in Québec.
  • Local Pride groups, trans support groups and your nearest LGBTQ+ community centre.

In an emergency in Canada, always call 911.

🌍 Worldwide resources

🔎 Find help anywhere

🏳️‍⚧️ LGBTQ+ and trans support

In an emergency, call your local emergency number.